Turns out that porn business is pretty base- if your known for having sex, that’s all people want from you. How can she be “real-life” attracted to someone who has sex on camera for a living? I mean, one of her best friends is a porn star, but that’s different. Not only that but he’s one too…queue Robby Lingus. Cut, tan, emerald green eyes, a brain…he has it all! But as it so happens, he’s best friends with Nikki’s most favorite, drool inducing porn star Calum. Come to find out, Tristan is pretty cool and GORGEOUS. Of course, she runs into the guy that caught her digging a wedgie and it obviously makes sense to sit down and eat with him. After following Nik around until her stomach is trying to eat her backbone, she breaks and goes to eat something phallic shaped at the food court. They are going to meet their idols in the porn world- Calum Burro and Andrew Wood (snickering). Kat meets Tristan at a porn convention that her best friend Nikki managed to solicit tickets to. The only positive thing about that whole experience was the fact that Josh, as well as I, learned a very valuable lesson: wrap that pecker up. I think I screamed louder than Josh did when I saw what the doctor did to him, Sweet baby Jesus, I cried for the both of us, and my vagina clenched up like a steel trap for weeks. Nothing, and I mean nothing, should ever go in there.

I firmly believed that the only thing that should be coming out of a guy’s penis was pee and semen. What I saw that day in the doctor’s office would haunt me for the rest of my life. I, like the idiot I am, went with him, and even stayed in the room at his insistence. (sneak peek) A couple years ago, Josh asked me to go with him to get tested for STDs. How much more porny can it get? But can I say- I laughed so loud I woke up people in the house?!? You guys know I love a story line that can not only get the point across but make me chuckle, and this was SPOT ON!! To tell you the tempo of the book, the two main characters names are Robby Lingus and Kat Berger. **WARNING- This book is not for the sexually repressed, prude, or easily offended!!**

Lingus by mariana zapata